A few nights ago, Dan and I squeezed a quick trip to The Home Depot in between dinner and baby bedtime. We were there only to pick up a few items and be on our way. In attempt to move the things along, I marched right over to the self-checkout line. I quickly began scanning while Dan kept Calli out of the candy bars.
As I got going, I started hearing the dreaded words, "system assistance required." "Come on", I thought, "What's the problem?". I looked down and evaluated my items... a can of paint, two bottles of spray paint. Then the words I heard turned from dreaded, to quite comical. "Excuse me ma'am, are you at least eighteen?" (I guess you need to be at least 18 years old to buy spray paint). Dan was close by and joined in the conversation. We said together in unison, while giggling through our teeth, "Um... yeah. We both will be turning thirty this year." The cashier continued, "Oh, I just had to make sure."
Now this for us is quite normal. Dan's been carded buying cough syrup and I've been mistaken to be a co-worker's daughter (instead of team teacher) buying school supplies. Dan bought a ticket to a high school football game and was given the student price by mistake, because they thought he just forgot his student ID. When working with some teens at the library a few summers ago, they all wondered what high school I was GOING to. Just to name a few.
But what struck me odd this time was the fact that I had a toddler and husband with me and am also very visibly pregnant. Do we think that I could possibly not be eighteen yet and have two kids already?!? That scared me a little. Question me to be old enough to rent a car? Fine. Question me to be old enough to gamble? (Not that I do, despite having a husband from Nevada... Not that he does either... :)) Okay. But to be old enough to vote or buy spray paint, really?
Then on the drive home my thoughts got worse. Maybe it isn't even what I look like, but how I present myself! Maybe I look like someone who could have two kids by eighteen? AAH! (I mean that in the nicest, least-stereotypical way possible).
I have now made a vow to not LEAVE the house without full makeup, hair done and possibly heels on. Perhaps I need to dress more expensive even. Maybe this merits a larger diamond on my left hand? Or I could carry my diplomas around and "accidentally" drop them out of my purse when someone is giving me the look. And yes, this is to be done even on trips to oh-so-swanky places like The Home Depot.
But knowing me and also the fact that in the coming months the feat will be just getting out of the house, regardless of how I look, that isn't likely to happen. I guess as long as I always have my ID with me, I'll be okay. Eighteen, thirty or not.
12 comments:
That is _hilarious_, Ashley!
doesn't it feel good to know that you are still young and beautiful even though the dreaded 3-0 is coming?? jarron always tells me i'm going to get carded wherever we go (like if we go to the bowling alley which is also a casino...). The only time I can remember this happenening is when I was engaged and sat in the emergency exit row on the airplane. the stewardess asked me if I was old enough to sit there. I think you have to be like 15. i was 21.
I have to admit that I laughed out loud at the thought of you carrying around your diplomas for proof of age. Dave gets the same thing all the time... we were in this little casino town trying to find some place to eat and every time he walked into a casino he was carded. He was mortified but we all thought it was hysterical. Hey, I'd rather look young than old any day!
Thanks for the laugh. It certainly does sting to see how people actually perceive your age.
Mike & I volunteered at an elementary school while we at UC Davis. On Mike's first day in classroom all the boys kept giving him the onceover. When it was time for recess they ran over to see if he was now the new tallest kid in the 6th grade. Burn. I still laugh at him over this one!
I shouldn't be so smug. When I was first student teaching, some of the kids wondered if I knew their siblings at the high school. They were spouting off names so fast; I couldn't even tell them that didn't ever attend Rocklin HS.
"What grade are you in?" they finally asked. Their eyes like saucers.
For real?
"Ummm, 17th," I swallowed.
Maybe I should have worn that denim shirt with the painted hand prints, my wooden necklace, & sensible clogs after all?
After my stepbrother finished college, he got called out to a school to fix some computer problems. While walking down the hall, a teacher spotted him and told him to get to class. The funniest part was that he was at a junior high.
I guess some people just look young. At least you'll have a funny story to tell Baby Swensen.
the bigger diamond is a great idea! how many minors can afford such things? i'm sure it's a pain, but much better than looking older than you are. and no, you don't look like a cheap floosy--EVER.:)
I realized the other day that my diamond ring has been broken for months and no one has tried to hit on me. Is that the same thing? maybe not...
OH MY GOSH!!! Hey, it's Miranda Curran (Townsend now)!! I was looking at Jess's blog and saw your guys' name and I found you! Do you live in San Fran? I'm so excited to have found you! AWESOME! Check out our blog:
justinandmiranda.blogspot.com
This is better than having it the other way around right? At least you aren't being mistaken for your sister's mom or something :)too funny.
hi, ashley! it's sister rahm! i just received your mom's belated xmas card which had your blog address on it so of course i had to check it out...we have a blog, too. it was funto read through some of your posts. i have often wondered if you guys knew jennifer garner-so fun that she was your dance teacher! love your family's picture-calli is darling!!! good luck with your baby boy in a few weeks...i'll keep stalking your blog now.:)
Ashley, David is trying to get a hold of you wondering about the Cali trip your Dad is trying to plan. Can I get your email? Mine is olivia@emcity.net.
dan - time to man up for a bigger rock.
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