LEARNING TO FLY

Time really is the strangest thing isn't it? One of the few things in life that is constant, yet depending on us and our location, it can seem so variable.

A night or two back, I made a quick trip to the store. I took Dan's car out of ease. As I reached into my pocket and pulled out the key, it felt awkward, unfamiliar. The thought came that this key was my norm just a year ago and prior, but now it was out of place. The one car family, that one kid family such a distant memory...

Remembering life before Luke seems impossible. How could he have only been here a year? I guess I say that because he fits so well with us and we with him. "Can you believe he is one!" say a few. When I look at him, of course I do. My toddling boy in tennis shoes and shorts, eating at the table with little blonde curls on his neck.

But when I think of me and the girl I was a year ago and the woman I thought I'd be by now (Well, the woman with the girl's body), the year to get there just flashed right by. Sigh. Time really is the strangest thing.

I was getting nostalgic today, looking through photographs. Only three years ago, with my newborn baby girl in arms. My long hair, my young face... how could it be? Has motherhood really done a number on me? :)

And so it has, no doubt to my heart. I was touched on an early Monday morning in May. I woke with the sun, list in hand longer than my day could spare. I was attacking the bathroom counter, when my littlest one woke earlier than normal, interrupting my plan. Grr... I take him from his crib and sit down in the living room to nurse. He gets distracted, looks out the window. What does he see?

Then I saw it. Two bluebirds, teaching their baby to fly. It really was remarkable. I thought of the faith, the patience it must take to teach your own to fly. It was as if my little one was telling me to slow down and see it. See it and learn.

Spring is the time in our house when hearts are turned. Mothers to fathers, fathers to mothers, mothers and fathers to their children. Mother's Day, Father's Day and two birthdays in between. This idea of family and our interdependence has rung true in my soul all season long. Two particular messages stand out. Find them here and here. What struck me most was seeing these strong men softened because of the women around them. And sure enough, these men have in turn softened me.

So can I be there with a quiet hand and a gentle heart? Can I embrace and nurture the qualities that allow me to do so, instead of fall into natural traps that cause me to "chip away" at such things? That is my wish.

The last three years have not been the easiest. But where would I be without my children? Nowhere of importance. That is for sure.

To my growing babes... Happy Birthday to you both. My heart is full of love for you.