It is just me or was it not mid-July just a blink ago? I know I haven't posted in ages... Typing right now feels foreign to me. Sad. I know no one is interested in my excuses and I am uninterested in listing them. All I can say is that life has been full, life has been fast and I guess that is nothing to complain about.
My heart has been heavy as of late. I've really been wanting to say to the world, "NO MORE SAD STORIES. I AM TIRED OF THEM." It seems I've been stumbling on them week after week all summer long. Some close to me, some not. Either way, they are human stories and I am a sucker for caring.
And yet, I could stare at my computer screen reading with tears in my eyes and still wallow in my own misery. A life lost, yet the only loss I am consumed with is of time or weight. Perspective like that is embarrassing. I decided to be better and sought the help I need.
Yesterday was one of those days...You know when maybe the circumstances aren't that much worse than normal, but you are sure that they must be because it really feels like it. The craziness with the kids never ended. There were several moments throughout the day when I thought to myself, "Grab the camera. Blog this." As the day went on, I thought of simply listing it all. That would pack a punch all on its own.
But in light of trying to be more grounded, I decided to accentuate the positive. (Though I really would love to write a "Day in the Life" post for documenting and commiserating purposes... when the time is right.) Instead of focusing on all that went wrong, I decided to see all that was right.
Specific things I was grateful for last evening:
1) The refreshment I felt from an evening breeze
2) That we were not in the accident we passed along the highway
3) That I was able to serve someone
4) That I saved the package of eggs just in time before Luke threw them out of the shopping cart
5) That I have a husband to talk to, who understands
6) The hope the gospel provides
After I made the choice to not dwell on the negative, the calm that followed was reassuring and quick. Who knew it could all be better that fast? And look at the perspective that followed?
I hope to continue to see what I have and not be so concerned for what I don't. Though my life may have imperfections, it is better than no life at all. And for that knowledge, I am grateful.
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6 comments:
This sounds a lot like the concept of a "Gratitude Journal"! You start by writing 5 things you are grateful for each day and then as it becomes easier to recognize the positive in your life you write more down! Obviously some days are easier to discover and recognize the good things than others but it is fun to look back over what you have been grateful for!
Enjoyed your post. I have been feeling the same way! You are always an inspiration. See you tonight at RS.
I like that, "life has been full, life has been fast and I guess that is nothing to complain about." I think that even amidst the craziness of our days, I think the positive things we can feel, see and recognize are the tender mercies.
and this is why i love you. I am expecting to live a long and full life (emphasizing the 'full') as I am sure it will be with you. We will see much during time we have and I am glad we know how to make some sense of it! Miss you and our philosophical/religious talks :) Call anytime if you need to!
Well said! Sometimes, I wonder if I could handle a perfect life...reality tells me I wouldn't have a chance:)
Ashley, I am so with you on not wanting to hear anymore sad stories! I just want to bury my head in the sand sometimes.
And I am outing myself and my dorky book blog to comment and tell you that I really appreciated reading this. It is a great reminder to me to stop focusing on everything negative in my life.
We'll have to chat sometime soon!
-Diana :)
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